Moments of Clarity

2006-09-05T06:03:00.000-07:00

We've been busy getting Mike's new studio space ready. Painted and built a wall yesterday. Mike's working today but I'll go in and see if I remember the basics of taping and bedding the joints.

The space is above an old movie theatre. Every now and then we'll hear music or a loud scream. And it smells like popcorn. Much better than the old studio which was next to a barber shop. Hair would float in through the joint ventilation system and the place smelled like kimchi.

Over the next few weeks I'll be shopping for furnishings . . . after we pilfer usable items from the house. I already lost my beveled-glass sofa table to the dressing room. Since this studio is not a shared space like the last one, we'll be able to hang Mike's framed photos that were taking up closet space at home. A lot of closet space.

And we'll meet with our wedding clients at the studio, not in my kitchen, the only space that isn't covered with photos and portfolios. And though it occurred to me that I might get my dining room table back, I won't hold my breath.

2006-08-14T17:18:00.000-07:00

"Writers don't make good cooks. Do you smell something burning?"

I am now the proud owner of a shirt from The Write Snark. It took me a while to choose the quote which most fit me.

Yes, I bake cakes and no, I don't usually burn them. But then I don't attempt to write while baking a wedding cake.

Cooking is another subject altogether. I cook dinner every day. Mostly. And when I'm writing, I tend to neglect to stir a pot or remove things from the oven on time. I've actually had to throw a pot away because burned beans were crusted on the bottom and refused to come out no matter how hard I scrubbed, scraped, or chiseled.

The first wearing of my new shirt was to Starbucks where Dana and I worked on our writing for a couple of hours. Wore it again the next day to Wal-Mart where I ran into two of my neighbors. Since I had never told them about my writing, they asked questions. Now they know.

Take a journey through Rinda's selection of shirt, mugs, bags, hats, etc. You're sure to find something that fits the writer in you.

2006-07-27T22:54:00.000-07:00

It's 12:49. Word count is 101,390. Rough draft is officially finished.

2006-07-27T08:30:00.000-07:00

ALMOST THERE . . .

Yes, Dana, I finally made it through the rescue scene. Jaclyn and Brewer have made it safely out of the underground passage, finally. My rough draft sits at 99,442 words and I am one or two chapters short of finishing, which I intend to do today. Then I will begin the editing process.

I'm incorporating a priceless relic from Jaclyn's collection into the scene where a bomb is discovered, left in the tunnel by Jaclyn's evil cousin, now an escaped prisoner, who has held Jaclyn hostage deep within the tunnel. Brewer doesn't have the expertise or the time to difuse the device, and the plan is to keep the wireless detonator from being triggered by the remote device carried by the bad guy, who has managed to elude capture. The relic is a small bronze trunk adorned with gold and semi-precious stones which had once held love letters from a man to his betrothed. (I have to figure out which century the trunk is from, and want to have the man be some historical figure.) They place the satchel containing the explosives inside the trunk, and because it is lined with lead the signal to detonate the bomb will not reach the detonator, thus allowing Brewer to rescue Jaclyn from the tunnel and carry her off to safety. Whew.

Any ideas on who the historical figure could be? A warrior or soldier of some kind was my first inclination. Thank goodness I finally discovered I'm not a plotter. Otherwise I'd have to figure this out before I finish the rough draft.

2006-07-18T06:33:00.000-07:00

August 25 is the date of my next cake. So for the next month I'll be catching up on all the things I've neglected since April, plus beginning a new Monday habit. Dana and I met at Starbucks yesterday where we sat with out laptops. For almost three hours. Had a blast. And Dana treated me to a Caramel Apple Cider. Yummy. (Next week is my treat, Dana.) Yet another reason to look forward to Mondays. It's wonderful to have the time to spend with my friends and actually write again The plotting party we attended at Julia's place near Quartz Mountain inspired me to get this WIP finished so I can begin On A Clear Day, which Betty, Sheila and Dana helped me plot. I knew the basic story, but wasn't sure how to tell it so the reader didn't have too much information too soon. Had a great time. Heard some funneee stories. Can't wait to do this again.

2006-07-04T08:22:00.000-07:00

HAPPY 4TH OF JULY !!

Say a prayer for all our soldiers putting their lives on the line for freedom.

2006-06-29T08:50:00.000-07:00

LET FREEDOM RING ...

Hope everyone has a happy and safe Fourth of July.

I visited a blog today that reminded me of a birthday party we threw for my grandfather on his 90th birthday and so I thought I would reminisce for a moment.

My grandfather was the most incredible man I've ever known. By the time he died in January of 2001, he could barely walk due to his bad knees and his eyesight was failing, but he was still sharp enough to win a game of forty-two or checkers.

He loved to drive. In the last years of his life I'd get calls from friends who'd seen him driving ten miles an hour in the middle of the road, or going straight from the turning lane when the light was red. When I stopped by his house after work one day, he asked me to get a bottle open. It was super-glue, so the lid was stuck, and it took a pair of pliers to get it open. I asked him what he needed fixed, and he looked at me and said "those are my eye-drops."

His maternal grandparents were Black Irish and his paternal grandparents were French and Cherokee. Even at 90 he had a head full of thick, wavy hair. He used Grecian formula for years, so it was still dark, but not the black that I remember from childhood. He was a big, strong man who worked hard all his life, but his spirit was sweet and gentle. He loved his God and gave bear hugs that could squeeze the air out of your lungs. He would give a stranger the shirt off his back if they needed it.

He grew up poor on a farm in Coolidge, Texas, worked for an ice-plant in his teens and early twenties. Moved to Oklahoma and bought a Conoco gas station which he ran for forty years, hence the bad knees.

His son was murdered in 1982. He lost a daughter to diabetes in 1990 and a granddaughter to the same disease in 1992. My grandmother died in 1998. His faith never failed, his spirit never wavered.

We wanted to do something special for him to celebrate his 90th birthday. We planned the party for months. It turned out to be a family reunion since relatives from several states came for the festivities. California and Oregon, Texas, Colorado, and Arkansas. His birthday was July 1st and my grandmother's had been the 4th, so we obviously went with a patriotic theme, using the flag that he hung from his front porch for the festivities. I had red buttons made for everyone to wear that read "I love Cliff" while his button read "I am Cliff." He got such a kick out of that.

He kept his button on his dresser and once in a while I'd see him wearing it while looking through his picture album from that day. We'd sit on his front porch and he'd tell me the old stories about growing up on the farm. He could still crack open pecans with his bare hand.

By then, I'd quit the job I'd had for seventeen years to take care of him in order to keep him out of the nursing home. Six months later we had no choice. There were a few men who played dominoes, and he looked forward to that, but most of the time he had a look on his face as though he were thinking, "what in the heck am I doing here with all these old people?" Two weeks later he suffered a massive stroke. The first words he spoke? "Where are my pants?"

Wearing the "I Love Cliff" buttons to his funeral seemed like the perfect tribute.

2006-06-27T06:56:00.000-07:00

Here are the cakes from last Saturday. We delivered the cakes and set them up, and then turned around and photographed the wedding.

.

2006-06-20T06:16:00.000-07:00

Tuesday snuck up on me. Did anybody else cry during this movie? I still haven't watched it a second time because, even though I knew what was coming, I was devastated. It wasn't a pretty sight. Me or him.

2006-06-19T16:58:00.000-07:00

CAKE, ANYONE? Chapter Two

Here are the final pictures of the wedding from Saturday. There were ten of the small cakes.

I turned forty-four today and my driver's license expired. The picture on it is horrible. HORRIBLE. I'm going to fix my hair and put on more make-up than usual when I go back to renew it so that, hopefully, I'm not embarrassed anytime I have to show it.

2006-06-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

CAKE, ANYONE?

As I promised, here are preparation pictures from the wedding last Saturday. Yes, I survived. I may be a little loopy now ... wait, I was already loopy.

I'll start working on next post with finished pictures. At the rate I'm going, it may take me all day!

2006-06-06T06:00:00.000-07:00

Cakes below are from last Saturday. Next week is the big one. When the OKRWA ladies are listening to Dana speak on blogging, I should be finishing up. This week I'll be busy getting boards and icing ready, plus about a hundred other details.

2006-05-14T06:01:00.000-07:00

HERE COMES THE BRIDES ...

Well, another wedding weekend has passed without a catastrophe, thank you Lord. Cakes were safely delivered for Andrea and James and we hurried off to photograph Aubrey and Robert's wedding. Here's the cakes from one and the bride and groom from the other.

2006-05-05T05:24:00.000-07:00

MY KITCHEN SMELLS LIKE CHOCOLATE . . .

I'm busily working on a wedding cake for tonight and my kitchen smells like chocolate. Small wedding. Wedding cake serves 80 and groom cake serves 40. Mike and I will deliver the cakes at 4:30 and then stay to photograph the wedding. Because we love weddings. (We also design wedding storybook albums.)

I'm also working on a cake for a fund raiser. This event is to raise money to help pay for an evening gown for a Miss Oklahoma contestant. It's supposed to be beauuutiful. Should be.

The picture is a 50th wedding anniversary cake I made several years ago. The husband ran a furniture repair business for many years and they collect antiques together. The finish on the cake is . . . you guessed it. Chocolate. The pearls, hankie, pocket watch, drawer pulls, doily(spelling?) and picture frame are all made from chocolate. The couple inside the heart was their cake topper at their wedding.

I'll walk this morning. But I won't be dieting. I'll try, but my kitchen smells like chocolate.

2006-05-01T06:01:00.000-07:00

LET THE CAKES BEGIN

This is my last day to work on my WIP for I'm not sure how long. Alas, the much dreaded wedding cake season is here.I reached 80,036 word count at 1:23 a.m. Stopped when I jerked awake and realized I'd typed several lines of gibberish. Then when I got in bed all these great lines were going through my brain.

I'll post progress pictures on the cakes and reward myself with checking out your blogs from time to time. Will definitely make it to Dana's to read her Daytona trip highlights.

2006-04-26T06:38:00.000-07:00

More Cakes ... A wedding from last year. A week from today and I'll be baking the first of many cakes.

Flowers are made out of gumpaste. Each petal is cut separately and aplied one at a time. Don't do many hydrangeas!!

Shopping List:

Sugar - granulated
Sugar - powdered
Sugar - corn syrup
Sugar - brown
Chocolate - for cake
Chocolate - for icing
Chocolate - for the baker (smile)

Then of course:

eggs
flour - all purpose
flour - cake
baking powder
salt
butter
shortening
almond extract
vanilla extract
heavy whipping cream
buttermilk
bittersweet chocolate
chocolate morsels
cocoa
did I mention chocolate for the baker?

2006-04-25T05:31:00.000-07:00

One of several present cakes made for a woman's eightieth birthday party planned by her sons.

2006-04-24T06:16:00.000-07:00

I've got to get myself in the cake mode. Wedding season is upon me. I'll start posting pictures here to stimulate me. Don't drink coffee. Need all the stimulation I can get. The top pic is a wedding cake I made last fall. Not my kitchen. The Narnia cake was for Dana's daughter's birthday party. Had to clone the counter to hide Dr. Pepper bottle, mail and other stuff visible in picture. Stuff that I could have cropped out if that stinking lamp post hadn't been so tall.

Learned something new last night. You can't buy Advil Cold & Sinus Liqui-Gels off the shelf anymore. No, you don't have to have a prescription but you do have to go to the pharmacy window and show your i.d.

I found this out last night at 8:30 when I made a trip to Wal-mart to buy said Advil Cold & Sinus. I have these in between headaches that will not, will not go away unless I take one Excedrin Migrane and one Advil C&S. Probably some of the new products would work but I just happened on to this combination and have stuck with it.

A headache started brewing yesterday afternoon while I was in Edmond standing in the sun for an hour on the high-school's football and track field where Mike was taking pictures of the top high-school football players for the cover and inside story for a high-school athletic magazine. (I know there's all kinds of bad grammar and run-on stuff going on with that last sentence. Sorry.)

Had run out of Advil C&S on Thursday but I forgot to buy more when I was buying groceries on Friday. Of course, the Wal-mart pharmacy closes at 6 p.m. on Sundays. So I purchased a few essentials (Frosted Flakes for Ryan and Eggo French Toaster Strips for Evan). Headache was so bad I skipped the book section (gasps of shock heard round the world) and went to Wal-Greens. Got the Advil C&S Liqui-Gel card from the shelf and took it to the pharmacy window.

I was assuming that this was a new requirement passed in recent months. Guy said no, it was something that had passed a year and a half ago, but I've bought it off the shelf in the last three or four months. I was also assuming it was related to the pseudoephedrine content. All those people making up batches of meth in their kitchens. But no, you can't make meth with liquidgels. It has to be the pill form. You're just required to prove you're 18 to buy it. If I had been thinking clearly, I could have asked a few more questions. He seemed like a talkative sort of guy and my wip has a meth storyline. That's okay. Plenty of information on the web. I'm not sure I understand this, but thank goodness for 24-hour pharmacies.

2006-04-12T07:01:00.000-07:00

LAUGHTER

Do you ever look at a word and think how odd it looks. Laughter, for instance. Where's the ph or the f? Anyway, one of the things that I've always loved about Mike is the way he make's me laugh. He has a somewhat irreverent humor mixed with a sarcastic wit that can make me laugh, even when I want to be mad at him. I think some of it has rubbed off on me over the almost twenty-four years of our marriage.

Something reminded me the other day of a show we used to watch, Married With Children. Peg and Al Bundy were not your typical couple, but Mike and I would laugh so hard during that show.

My favorite scene: Peg is sitting on the couch. Al comes in the door. Earlier he'd left, forgetting to lock the front door. Peg says something like this (it's been years so my memory may be faulty) ... "Al, you can't leave the house without locking the front door. Someone might break in and kidnap me."

Al replies ... "Yeah, like I ever get what I want!"

Laugh with someone you love today.

2006-04-03T08:48:00.000-07:00

STOLEN MOMENTS ... STOLEN TRUCKS

Okay, so the past week has been a little crazy. My m-i-l's surgery went well and she is recouperating very nicely. A friends of ours had a major crisis last week and we're still awaiting news on the situation. I just watched as my sister and b-i-l drove down the street after a nice three-day visit. Their dog A.J. (short for Angelo Jesus) and Maggie hovered somewhere between being playmates and rivals.

And our locked truck was stolen from in front of our house. We got to meet a very nice police officer. Dana, I bet "Officer Sweetie Man" knows him.

We have three vehicles. The truck is what Mike drives back and forth to work everyday. It's old but it runs, and it enables Evan to drive the Blazer to school and soccer practice. Now Mike will be driving it instead of the truck. Sorry Evan, you've just been sent to the back of the bus.

I didn't get to make any plans to see Dana on Friday like I'd hoped to. And I haven't written anything since Thursday morning. That was the day I thought I broke the laptop. Maggie likes to walk between my feet and she tripped me while I was carrying it to another room. Mike promises all he did was turn it on and it worked, but I'd already tried that three or four times and nothing happened. I guess he just has the touch. I can't begin to explain how relieved I was ... especially since I hadn't backed up to disk in a week. I know ... bad girl.

Just got of the phone with the school ... Ryan has a headache and needs Tylenol. Hope everyone's good. Dana's RT day clicker will be changing to 39 in a few days so we know she's doing good. I'll have to check out everyone else blogs after I get back from the school.

2006-03-30T08:54:00.000-08:00

I tried to take Miss Maggie for a walk this morning. It was actually rather amusing. The only way I could get her to move was if I jogged. Then she'd run for twenty or thirty feet before laying down on the pavement. So I ended up carrying Princess Maggie for a block a two before attempting the walk thing again with basically the same results.

She still isn't house trained. Somehow I've managed to reverse train her ... she thinks she has to be inside to pee. Now I hear that girl dogs are more difficult to house train than boy dogs.

My mother-in-law fell on Tuesday and broke her ankle. She's having surgery today and will probably be home tonight. The tricky thing is that Mike's father is basically wheel-chair bound. He can use a walker for short distances if someone is there to help. Helen helps him bathe and dress, prepares his meals, drives him to coffee every morning at 6 a.m., picks him up when he's through visiting, takes him to the doctor, etc.

I'll be with him today, either at their house or at the hospital if he decides he wants to be in the waiting room during the surgery. I'll take my laptop with me because I'm in the zone, that place where I get sometimes where the writing seems to flow and I get up at 6 because I can't wait to write. It would be nice if the rest of the world would just stop during those rare times, but alas, the laundry pile is growing and the puppy is still peeing and those pesky kids think they're supposed to eat dinner every night.

2006-03-28T05:42:00.000-08:00

SURPRISE ...

I watched the last half of Along Came a Spider (2001) with Morgan Freeman, one of my favorite actors, the other day. Monica Potter, Nicolas Cage's wife in ConAir, plays the part of his partner. Missed the part where is former partner is killed. Often I'm able to figure out what will happen before it does. This time I never saw it coming. Potter's character was so incredibly ... open, honest, sincere, compassionate ... inadequate descriptions, and guess what? She turns out to be the bad guy. Girl.

I did a google search on Mr. Freeman. His first part, uncredited, was in Pawnbroker in 1964 playing a man on the street. Forty-two years later he's been in seventy movies and television programs with more on the way. One movie in post-production, three in the filming stages and three announced.

Some of my favorites: THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION (loved it, loved it, loved it), Sum of All Fears, Kiss the Girls (love Ashley Judd), Unforgiven, Driving Miss Daisy, Batman Begins.

There are several I want to see. First is High Crimes, another one with Ashley Judd. I watched several trailers and it looks interesting.

Today I'll be running errands: Dry Cleaners (drop-off, pick-up), grocery store (groceries, Jill's book), Champ's (soccer socks), deliver pictures of Miss America taken with her Oklahoma Star to star's house. Evan has a soccer game at 4 and I need to walk.

Before, after and in-between I'll be working on Deep Breaths. Jaclyn (not her permanent name but haven't found the perfect one yet) is planning on doing something dangerous and stupid just to prove to her hero that she's not crazy.

2006-03-16T05:59:00.000-08:00

ROUGHING IT ...

I finally managed to get back in the rough draft mode on my WIP. I have this tendancy to start at the beginning every time I sit down to write, a really nice place to start when referring to the rest of life in general, yes, but not when chapter eighteen needs to get out of my brain. My characters are beginning to fret. I'm almost positive I heard my hero telling me, sweetly, of course, to get in gear and stop editing chapter one. I can't really blame him. He has been confined to the same room since chapter four.

We brought home our new puppy last week. We've finally given her a name. Maggie is adorable ... she's a puppy ... but she's started this new trick where she morphs into a little demon, snarling and snapping. Then she's scary. I was told to roll up a newspaper and thump her on the nose whenever this happens. I watched the Caesar the Dog Whisperer last week and there was a dog that was biting. Caesar held the dog down, sideways on the ground, until he stopped resisting. I'm not sure I want to try this with Maggie.

I'm really looking forward to the OKRWA meeting on Saturday. I'm going to work on my rough draft now. I'm feeling inspired and my hero wants out of that room!

2006-03-07T09:13:00.000-08:00

MY BRAIN IS FULL ...

Had an incredible time with Dana at the Nola Stars Conference in Shreveport. One of the published authors explained the method she uses to complete an entire plot for a book, including motivations, goals, theme, crisis, climax, etc., in an hour and a half. Very good information.

Talked to Caren Johnson from the new Firebrand Literary Agency and got some good advice and encouraging words about my WIP.

On Monday, Mike and I attended a Photoshop Seminar in OKC. The guy teaching the class does things with photoshop that are un-be-liev-a-ble.

Got a good report from Dr. Warn this morning concerning the problems I've been having with my corneas. Another couple of weeks and I'll be good to go. Other ailments that I've struggled with from time to time pale in comparison. God is good.

Evan passed his driver's test with a score of 85 and has driven by himself several times. His first solo drive was on Sunday. As he left to deliver some photos, Mike and I stood at the window and watched him drive down the street, our pride mingling with parental concern. A milestone for all of us.

Our new puppy comes homes tomorrow. We haven't been able to agree on a name yet ... no telling how long that will take. I'll post pictures soon.

2006-02-28T08:28:00.001-08:00

THERE SHE IS ... MISS AMERICA!!

THERE HE IS ... OUR IDEAL ... WALKING ON AIR, HE IS ... MR. AMERICA!!

Yes, Mike got to take pictures of Miss America. In preparation, he was singing the Miss America song. A few minutes later, Ryan (age 10) walks through the kitchen singing 'There she is ... Miscellaneous.'

Mike showed the neighbors boys the picture and one of them asked why there wasn't a Mr. America. Mike pointed at himself and said, 'that's him.'

The picture here is of Lauren Nelson, a Lawton girl who was crowned last year as Miss Oklahoma State Fair. She is running for Miss Oklahoma in June and Mike has been getting her ads ready for the catalog thing they do.

Dana and I leave for the Nola Conference tomorrow. I'm so excited. Yes, like Dana, I have things to get done today, but then it's two days of fun. And I'm not even going to get nervous about talking to an agent because I'm going to learn something new. I'm taking the first 3 chapters of my WIP, Deep Breaths, and the first fifty pages of my completed manucript, Sweet Heaven, along with synopsis and query letter. Anything else I should take?

I'm even going to wash and vacuum the Suburban. Too bad I don't have a sports car. Maybe that's a good thing though. Evan turned 16 on Tuesday and is going to try for his license today. He doesn't like to drive the Suburban. If I had a sportscar, I'd have a difficult time telling him no day after day. Telling him no isn't an easy thing to do.

2006-02-25T08:31:00.000-08:00

For the next ten days I'm supposed to "baby my eyes." This was the instruction I received from my new eye doctor, Dr. Ann Warn, who is with the Lawton Branch of the Dean McGee Eye Institute. No contacts. Eyes drops several times a day.

I have rough corneas possibly aggravated by dry eye syndrome, and just opening my eyes in the morning apparently causes areas of my cornea to peel off. Yeah, it hurts. I spent Thursday in bed with a cold compress over my eyes. The pain meds I took made the rest of my body veeery relaxed but they did nothing for the pain nor did they put me to sleep. I'm so much better today, but am still walking around inside my house with my sunglasses on (over my other glasses). Not a fashion statement.

I think part of the problem is that it's winter and the heats been on. In addition it's so dry and I don't drink near enough water.

I have learned something, though, during this process (it's been going on since early January). I'm constantly creating characters and "what if" situations in my head. Driving to the store, baking cakes, trying to sleep, doing laundry ... you get the picture. Even when I'm sick I can escape to whatever story is currently running through my brain. But lying in bed on Thursday I realized that sometimes it hurts too much to plot. Imagine that.

Thankfully, though I spent most of Friday in bed as well, in the dark, by myself, I had a new story in my head to keep me company. I also listened to three of the tapes I had checked out from the OKRWA library in January. I'm listening to Susan Wiggs' seminar on pacing next.

What is the post man's motto? "Neither rain, nor sleet nor snow nor dark of night shall stay this courier from his appointed rounds." (Thank you, Google). How about this: "Neither ice, nor blogs nor calls nor laundry piles shall stay this plotter from her inspired calling.

Plot on, people. Plot on.

2006-02-22T07:01:00.000-08:00

HIDDEN BLESSINGS ...

I was so disappointed about the weather that canceled the OKRWA meeting. I'd been counting down the days. Dana called at 6:54 a.m. to tell me Jeff didn't think it was safe to go, which thrilled Mike because he didn't want me going, either.

But ... I had a wonderful day regardless. Mike kept the fireplace supplied with logs as I cuddled up in my comfy chair with blankets, drank hot chocolate and worked on Deep Breaths. My guy, Brewer, is really starting to develop nicely and now that the initial danger is temporarily behind them, sparks are beginning to fly. I even wrote an outline so that I'll have a clearer idea of how to pace the suspence and the romance.

Yesterday I watched Evan play soccer (man it was cold). He hasn't played since elementary school because Jr. High didn't have organized soccer. He's really gotten good. He turns sixteen next week. His mama is so proud of him.

I'll be cooking at the church today. Don't know when I'll get another chance to write. Maybe tomorrow night. But I'll be plotting. I have an idea for Rinda's sweatshirts. I'll have to figure out how to get it to her. Maybe I'll draw it and mail it along with the c.d. of OKRWA Christmas pictures. I hope she's gotten her copy of SURREAL magazine by now!

Stay warm! Sara

2006-02-07T14:09:00.000-08:00

THAT WAS JUST SO ...

I have so much to learn. Dana read the first chapter of my WIP and explained to me all about not overusing certain words such as that, was, and just. I really enjoy using those words. We've all heard of comfort food. Is there such a thing as a comfort word?

In addition, thanks to Dana and Deb's OK Corral article, I have been enlightened on the subject of weak words. Weak words? I know all about weak knees and weak vision and have listened to multiple discussions regarding the weaker sex, but the whole weak word rule is new to me.

Next thing you know someone will tell me I shouldn't switch the POV back and forth whenever I feel like it. Oh ... right.

2006-01-29T15:53:00.000-08:00

It's been five days since I've had time to work on my WIP. Let me rephrase. It's been five days since I've made time to work on my WIP. I have great intentions for the rest of the night, though. As soon as I finish this, that is.

I was sorting through several piles of books the other day when I found a cloth-covered journal that even though I hadn't touched it in years, I knew exactly what it was the moment I saw it.

When I was in high school God blessed me with a friend. I wasn't particulary gifted in the making friends arena. Because I was dealing with difficult stuff at home, I didn't have the confidence, or the energy, to develop close friends. The fact that I was completely oblivious to the nuances of basic socializing didn't help. But that never mattered to Ruthie.

Just a year older, Ruthie was wise beyond her youthful age. Even at sixteen, she was an intellectual. Whereas I existed in a hazy fog, she had extraordinary vision that even I could see. Her views on life were beyond anything I had ever known, but even more amazing was her ability to share those views without ever talking down or expecting me to give up my opinions or beliefs. Even then she had the gift, the love of imparting knowledge.

I don't recall how much I shared with her about my family, or how much she saw for herself, but she was there for me. She'd pick me up in her navy Mustang equipped with a trickly clutch and wisk me off to a youth event or a coffee house. I can still see her long limbs struggling with the gears.

She presented me with the journal on a birthday, the sheets empty except for a letter she'd written on the first page encouraging me to write. That was years before my love of books transformed into a desire to write them.

We corresponded by mail for several years after I moved to Oklahoma, getting together when I was in town, but in my early thirties I let down my end and after a while, she stopped as well. But even though I seemed to have lost my ability to write letters, the mere thought of her would put a smile on my face, and I experienced more than a little guilt.

I haven't seen her in over a decade but I left a message on her answering machine when I was home at Thanksgiving and received her Christmas Update 2005 in the mail. 'Not much has changed since the fall update,' she wrote. In the time since I last heard from her she has starting teaching English and is currently pursuing her MA and PhD.

I haven't written her yet. It's almost as if I need to work up to it. I have so much graditude to express and a decade of life to share. I'll have to find a time where I have several hours with no one in the house to ask me what I'm doing (oops, need a tissue) or why I'm crying. Silly girl.

2006-01-27T06:52:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow I'll be taking Ryan, my ten year-old, to get a haircut. He'd decided about a month ago that he wanted to let his hair grow long. His best bud Max has longish hair. Beautiful silky, glossy, to die for hair. Ryan's hair isn't like that and after a month of that in-between stage he's changed his mind about letting it grow long.

A week before Christmas my oldest son, Evan, age fifteen (sixteen on February 28) came home from his friends house with his head shaved. This was after I told him no. Okay ... it was really more like "NO!!! EVAN ... DON"T YOU DARE!!!" It took me about a week (I might have been pouting) before I realized what a handsome devil he has become. The last time he had really short hair he was in that awkward stage between boy and man. Now I see these incredible glimpses of the man he will be. Exiting. (Oops, need a kleenex...)

If I might paraphrase the famous words from 'Little Bunny Foo Foo' ... "hair today, tomorrow." Better yet, HERE today, gone tomorrow.

I guess it's all about trying to figure out what's right for you. No one else can figure it out for you. It's nice to have guidance. It's good to have opinions from others you love and trust, even if they don't agree with you. But in the end, each of us have to find our own path. Even if venturing out on our own is a little scary.

2006-01-25T06:49:00.000-08:00

This is a wedding cake I made for a friend of ours last year. I should have made a wooden spoon handle coming out of the bowl. She's a big fan of all things Mary Englebreit.

Hope all is well with you.

2006-01-24T08:55:00.000-08:00

Funny how my brain works. Funny? Okay. Strange. An hour ago, I was sure I could think of the perfect thing to write about ... now, all I know is I should have left the house to run errands an hour ago. If I leave in ten minutes, I can still get it all done. If not, I'll have to skip my walk for the day. Ah, gee, let me think. Work on my blog. Walk.

Maybe my walk will bring some clarity. Probably not, but stranger things have been known to happen.